Stream of Consciousness

My latest endeavor is more akin to running against a stone wall than running against red tape.

Red tape I can handle. I've done that more times than I would care to.

Stone walls, I'm not so sure. Never done that before.

In a way, it's kind of expected. No one hears and no one listens to me. At least, not until after I start chipping away at them slowly. It gets results, but it's slow and labourous. It's kind of hard to summon enough energy to do this sort of things when you realise how much energy you actually *need* for these kind of things. Whatever. Here I come!

I've done enough weird, unconventional things in life to merit some sort of award. Why not quit while I'm ahead? Good question, except I realize that I don't do things for the sake of being unconventional, I do it because I want to. And my wants just happen to be unconventional. Which sucks.

Now, why don't I get a normal job like every one else?

Am I 'bo liao' incarnate?
Am I too consumed by ambition?
Am I too entranced by the lure of the impossible (ok, maybe just the improbable)?

Nah... I just do it because I think it's fun. Plus, I'll always wonder if it's possible in the first place.

And also, I'm not everyone else.

I think I'll never forgive myself if I spent the time telemarketing or in retail at less than 1/2 the US minimum wage instead.

Time to console myself with some out of context quote:

The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It is content with the low places that people disdain.
Thus it is like the Tao.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
...

When you are content to be simply yourself
and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.

-Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching.

The Tao rocks.